Total Drama Does Disney
by Sarcastic Devotee
Summary: What would happen if some of your favorite Disney movies were retold with Total Drama contestants replacing the characters in the movies? Will it still be happily ever after? Probably not, but it'll be a wild ride, regardless! Each chapter covers a different Disney animated movie. Current Disney movie: Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs!


**I like Disney. I like Total Drama's characters. I like poking fun at Disney. I like poking fun at Total Drama's characters. So the only logical place to go from there in my opinion was:**

**"I need to write a parody series of Disney movies using the Total Drama cast."**

**So! The point of this fic is to go through Disney Animated Canon (I'm not going to do Pixar _yet_; I may do a Pixar version in the future) and cast Total Drama characters into the roles and give both the characters and the movies a treatment of friendly parody.**

**However, I will _not _be doing all of the Disney animated films. I will not be doing the following movies: Fantasia, Saludos Amigos, The Three Caballeros, Make Mine Music, Fun and Fancy Free, Melody Time, The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, the Winnie the Pooh movies or Fantasia 2000. Why? All of these movies are several stories woven into one movie, and I don't think that'll translate well to one-shots.**

**As for solely animal based films, there will be a poll on my profile for whether or not they should be done.**

**All of the other Disney films, however, will all be done!**

**But enough talk, right? Let's get this show on the road with the very first Disney film, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.**

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I do not own Disney or Total Drama. Obviously.

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><p><strong>Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs<strong>

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><p>Once upon a time, a time which all fairy tales are set for some reason, there once was a beautiful princess by the name of Ella White. There was also an evil queen and Ella's step-mother, somehow near Ella's age due to marrying Ella's father at a young age which is kind of horrifying when you think about it too long. We shall call her Queen Sugar, the reigning ruler of her kingdom since Ella's father had died soon after he married Queen Sugar in an "accidental" trip into the dungeon and starving to death.<p>

Queen Sugar was always jealous of her step-daughter, Ella. Did she think Ella was prettier than her?

Oh, no way. Sugar believed she was much prettier than her step-daughter. Dressing Ella in rags? Why that was just for kicks and giggles. Forcing her to be a maid in her castle? Just to see Ella work her ass off every day.

No, what Sugar thought was that Ella could _sing better than __her. _And by anyone else's thoughts... Yeah, that was pretty true. Ella's voice reminded others of a blue bird singing; a little too airy and kind of dated in the sound, but still enjoyable at the end of the day. While Sugar's voice sounded like a thousand nails running down a chalkboard in where the listeners assumed would be hell.

Yes, you read correctly. Sugar was jealous because someone had a probably _average __singing voice._

She thought there was nothing wrong with that kind of jealousy at all.

To add to Sugar's predicament, she was in love with her mirror. No, not in love with her reflection. She was in love with an actual mirror. A young wizard named Leonard was imprisoned inside the mirror after one of his spells went awry (he says he was trying to reflect a spell off of the mirror to test it, but didn't think of moving out of the way when the spell was reflected.)

"Oh, my darlin' magic mirror on the wall!" she would ask every morning, "Who has the fairest singin' voice of 'em all?"

Leonard, mostly because he didn't want to hurt Queen Sugar's feelings, would always answer, "Um, you, Queen Sugar!"

"What's that _um_, 'fer?"

"Nonono," he would backtrack, "It's _definitely _you, Milady!"

"That's more like it!" she would proudly boast. For a while, she was content with the way things worked in her favor.

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><p>Leonard really hated being stuck in a mirror. There was so much he could do if he was free again. He could find the cure to world hunger. He could find the cure to the common cold. He could use his magic to become filthy rich. The possibilities were endless, even if he could only think of those three things from the top of his head.<p>

Yet everytime he'd ask for Sugar to try and find a spell that would free him, she would constantly turn him down.

"And not have my prized talkin' mirror?" she would reply, "No way, darlin'!"

Really, he was tired of constantly having to lie and tell Queen Sugar the lies that her voice was the worst thing he had ever experienced in his life; and this was counting the one time he was accidentally turned into a mouse and had to spend an entire year alluding a cat named Tom that believed Leonard's name was actually Jerry.

That was when he decided. This morning was going to be different. He was going to tell Queen Sugar the truth. He always heard that while the truth did hurt, it would always set you free.

Like every morning, Sugar walked up to the mirror and asked, "Oh, my darlin' magic mirror on the wall! Who has the fairest singin' voice of 'em all?"

"Um," he nervously tried to build up the courage to reply, "I'm not sure how to say this..."

"Well, it's easy!" she replied obliviously, "'Yes, my lovely Queen Sugar! It's you, of course!'"

"Well, that's just it," he gulped, "It's not you."

_"What?!"_

Leonard flinched back at the screech that came from the southern woman's throat, before saying, "Well, the best singing voice is kinda objective... And I haven't heard too many people sing, but I've kinda preferred... Ella's to yours."

Sugar sat there momentarily and didn't say a word. She finally gave a loud scream in anger, delivering a punch to the mirror, shattering it and seeming like she didn't even notice that her hand was now bleeding profusely. To Leonard's surprise and joy, breaking the mirror set him free, as he was now standing in the middle of Sugar's bedroom floor.

"Wow, I guess the truth really _does _set you free!" he exclaimed happily, before being hit repeatedly by a broom Sugar had grabbed from close by, "Ow! Ow! Ow! It _hurts_, too!"

"Get outta my castle!" Sugar commanded, as she continued to hit Leonard with her broom. She didn't have to tell _him _twice. His fake beard accidentally falling off behind him, he dashed off, ready to take hold of the freedom that he always had wanted.

Still not noticing her bleeding hand, she walked over to the window of her bedroom, glaring down at the singing Ella White below.

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><p>Ella was known for singing while she did her chores in the courtyard. To the rest of the maids's horror, however, she also had the issue of summoning every kind of animal to her while she sang. Usually it was something normal such as birds and bees and squirrels. But sometimes, she would summon elephants, crocodiles, and lions into the courtyard, even if no one was aware that these creatures were anywhere nearby.<p>

"I'm wishing," she sang as she held onto a chorus of birds that had flocked to her shoulders and outstretched fingers, "For the one I love to find me today!"

Well, _someone _was going to find her at least.

"No, where are you going?!" a skinny, tanned teenager in royal garb exclaimed to his horse, "This road is like ninety-nine percent dustier than it was before! No! Wait! That's the castle!"

It was then that the horse, tantalized by Ella's singing but reasonably pissed that she was no longer singing, bucked the prince towards her, sending them both splashing down in the shallow well behind the princess.

"I'm so gonna catch a cold," the prince groaned, as he climbed out of the well. He turned back to see Ella trying to climb out, so he extended his hand to her, trying his best to help her out of her jam.

Once they had gotten out of the well, Ella exclaimed, "Oh! I'm sorry that I brought your horse over here. That happens sometimes. Err... Well, almost every day! Animals seem to enjoy my singing."

"That's not really normal," the prince tentatively replied, "I mean. Does it just work on horses, or...?"

"Oh, no," she shook her head, "You should have seen the time that I accidentally lured a tiger over here! It turns out that the most wonderful thing about them aren't their bouncy tails like I have been told, but the fact that they sense blood really easily!"

The prince looked moderately horrified at that thought, but moreso by how cheery the girl sounded when she said it. "Ookay, then..."

"Oh, I completely forgot!" she remembered, "My apologies! My name is Ella White! And what is your name?"

"They call me Prince Dave," he introduced himself, "Well. I was _supposed _to be a prince, but my princess left me at the altar for a guy named Keith and I'm so much better than him and-"

"Oh, dear!" Ella interrupted the constantly growing angrier prince, "I'm so sorry to hear that! Um... Oh! I've got it! Singing always brings me out of terrible moods!"

"...You're not going to summon something terrifying like an alligator or a bear or a pig, are you?" Dave asked, recoiling in just the thought.

"Oh, no, silly!" she shook her head, "I meant for _you _to sing and try to calm yourself down! Come on! It's fun!"

The prince gave an apprehensive wince, "Uh... Are you sure? I'm not that great of a singer."

"Oh, everyone can sing, Prince David!" Ella encouraged with a bright smile, "Just sing a song that's dear to your heart!"

He was quiet for a moment, before belting out, rather off-key, "Oooooone sooooooong! I have only but one soooooooong! One soooooong only for yoooooooooo**oooo**-"

"You can stop now, because I believe your claim that you're not a good singer quite well," she interrupted, but despite her harsh words, Ella kept her smile on her lips, "But that's just fine! You seem to be a great guy, regardless!"

"Uh, thank you...?" Dave asked, rubbing his arm gingerly, before turning back towards his horse, "I should probably get going. I need to hire an assassin for- I mean _meet _this Keith guy! Uh, it was nice meeting you, Ella!"

"And same to you, Prince David!" she waved him off, as he straddled his horse and made his way away from the courtyard. Unknown to her, Sugar was glaring down from her room at her all the while. She closed the window and exclaimed to her guards:

"Hey! I want that Shawn the Huntsman feller here in two bats of a cat's tail!"

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><p>"...So, <em>you're <em>that huntsman guy?" Queen Sugar was unimpressed as she sat on her throne, staring down the hunter in front of her.

"That's me!" he jerked a thumb back to himself, "I hunt zombies, werewolves, zombies, vampires, zombies, the occasional unicorn, and zombies. Did I mention that I hunt zombies? They're a scourge of the earth that you _never _wanna see, trust me!"

"...Well, that's cute and all," Sugar waved all of that off, "But I know something even _more _dastardly and deadly that I need you to kill!"

Shawn gave an exaggerated gasp before asking in horror, "_Zombie vampires?!_"_  
><em>

"No!" she exclaimed with a huff, "My daughter! I want you to kill my step-daughter, Ella White!"

"The princess?" the supernatural hunter asked, "Why? Wait, don't tell me... She got bitten by a zombie and you want me to put her down before she infects the rest of the kingdom, right?"

"...Sure, puddin', let's go with that!" she replied with a pleased grin.

Shawn saluted the queen, putting on his war face, "That, I can do! Don't worry, ma'am! I'll be sure to put her down before she causes the _second _zombie apocalypse! You know. 'Cause everyone else doesn't seem to notice that it's already-"

"Just get on with it!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

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><p>"I'm so happy that you're helping me gather flowers today, Sir Shawn!" Ella exclaimed to the huntsman as they made their way into the woods, "That is so sweet of you!"<p>

"Oh, no problem, zombie hellspaw-" he cut himself off before quickly correcting himself, "I mean, Princess Ella!"

As they continued their trek, Ella skipping along and Shawn walking casually behind the princess, all that could cross Shawn's mind was the good that he would be doing for the sake of humanity. Maybe Queen Sugar would give him a reward. A cash reward, of course. That way, he could build the zombie shelter he always wanted.

Maybe two, depending on the size of his reward. Like his motto said, "You can never be too safe when it comes to protecting your brain!"

"Oh, dear!" he heard Ella exclaim, "This baby bird fell out of its nest!"

This was the perfect time to strike. As Ella bent over to carefully pick up the baby bird, Shawn drew a knife from his pocket. As she hoisted the bird back up into its nest, he grew closer and closer to Ella, until...

"...Wait a second!" he exclaimed, catching onto something, "Zombies would _never _try to help a baby bird!"

Ella turned back towards Shawn, either ignoring his knife or being blissfully unaware of it and asking, "A zombie? I don't believe I'm a zombie. Am I decaying?"

"No!" Shawn shook his head, annoyed, as he threw the knife down, "Your step-ma said something like you're a zombie that's gonna infect the rest of the kingdom! Wait... She wanted me to _murder you!"_

The princess gave a loud gasp, "Oh no! I can't understand why the Queen would do tha-"

"Probably because you have a better singing voice than her," Shawn interrupted.

She tapped her lip for a second, before admitting, "Yes, that is probably true. But this is horrible! What should I do, Sir Shawn?!"

"You should probably run away," the zombie hunter suggested, "Meanwhile, _I'll _take care of the queen. You'll be the new queen before you know it!"

Ella shook her head, "I don't wish to be queen. I adore the life of being a princess! Especially since step-mother does all of the royal duties for me! ...Although, that may be because she doesn't like me. Oh! And I wouldn't try to kill the queen, Sir Shawn. She'd probably have you beheaded!"

"Huh," he mused, "Yeah, good po-"

"Or skinned!" she gasped.

"Ouch, that'd-"

"Or fed to zombies!"

"Okay, okay!" Shawn stopped her there, "Just... Go on, so both of us doesn't end up in trouble, okay?"

"That I shall!" the princess replied, hoisting up her dress and beginning to run, "Thank you so much, Mister Huntsman!"

Shawn inhaled and exhaled, but his relief was cut short by the sound of an eerie, deceased moan from nearby. His fight or flight instincts promptly set in...

...but he chose flight. He might have been a zombie hunter, but he was _horrified _of the decayed creatures in all honesty.

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><p>Deep inside the forest was a clan of dwarfs. Seven dwarfs to be exact. There was a smart one named Cameron, one with a green mohawk and a scowl named Duncan, a lazy one named Noah, the chilled peacemaker named Geoff, a whistling one named Beardo, a complaining one named Harold, and a chubby oaf named Owen. They were all walking the path home from a set of mines, each carrying a pickaxe and a bag of jewels. While they walked home, Duncan was becoming increasingly annoyed by Beardo's incessant whistling.<p>

"Will you pipe the hell down with that song?!" he finally shouted in annoyance, "That's why we kicked Elvis out of our clan!" Beardo, in response, just made a record scratching sound.

"Elvis Presley?" Owen asked, his eyes lighting up in hopes that he'd meet the rock star.

"He means Trent, genius," Noah corrected in a deadpan tone, punctuated by rolling his eyes, "Duncan, get over it. That's just how Beardo works."

"Besides," Harold added, in a know-it-all tone, "Trent over-did that Heigh Ho song. The song Beardo's whistling is Whistle While You Work."

"I don't care if he's whistlin' Yankee Doodle Dandy," Duncan complained, with his arms crossed, "He needs to zip it!"

It was then that Beardo made the noise of a zipper zipping up. This did nothing but make Duncan angry and step out of line and towards the quietest dwarf, only to be intercepted by Geoff.

"Dudes, chill!" he exclaimed, "There's no need for this to get so heavy so close to home!"

"Uh, guys?" Cameron asked, stopping, and pointing towards the house just over the hill, "I don't want to startle you guys, but... Someone seems to be _inside _our house."

The other six dwarfs shared the same intruded look, before dashing towards their house. Duncan, Geoff, and Owen led the charge down the hill; Owen picking up Cameron and Noah and stuffing them under his arms to carry them down. Beardo ran behind them, making an accurate impression of a bugle's triumphant sounding.

Harold, however, walked behind them after running a few feet, clutching his chest and exclaiming, "Gosh! You guys could wait for me! Don't you care that I'm having heart palpitations?!"

Duncan was the first to open the door, but stopped in his tracks when he saw that a human had invaded their home. It was then that Owen ran into Duncan, knocking them both over and dropping Noah and Cameron in the process. It was then that Geoff tripped over Cameron and landed on top of him. Beardo walked in the room, looked at Ella and then back at his dwarf brethren before making a gunshot noise and pretending to fall over dead, crushing Noah in the process. Harold was the only one not to get crushed, due to him showing up last, still clutching his chest and wheezing in exhaustion.

"Oh!" Ella exclaimed, a broom and dustpan in her hands, "You guys must be the dwarfs! I'm Ella and-"

Harold gasped in horror, "She cleaned our house! I had the dust to undusted ratio just perfect and I'm allergic to this _exact _level of stirred du- Achoo!" He was silenced by an extremely violent sneeze.

"Okay, let's calm down, guys," Geoff spoke calmly, "Okay, Ella dudette. How do you know we're dwarfs?"

"Other than the fact that we're like three feet tall and- _Beardo, will you get off of me?!_" Noah shouted in annoyance. Beardo whistled innocently, rolling off of his fellow crushed dwarf.

"The better question is, did she eat all of our food?!" Owen exclaimed in horror, "Oh, and how she got in our house, I guess..."

"My animal friends told me," Ella explained her situation to the dwarfs, "My step-mother wants to kill me for some reason, so I have nowhere to go, so..."

"You could stay here with us!" Geoff exclaimed.

Most of the dwarfs seemed to agree with the party-hardy dwarf, except for Duncan, Harold, and Noah who all exclaimed, "What?!"

"Oh, nonononono," Duncan shook his head, "There's no way we're letting some frou-frou '50's stereotype live in our house, man!"

"I have to agree," Harold added, adjusting his glasses, "She already has ruined the dust ratio-"

"On second thought, if her being here will tick off these two?" Noah jerked a thumb towards Duncan and Harold, a smarmy smirk on his face, "I'm all for it."

"Well, it's five to two," Cameron notified, before turning to Ella, "Well, it looks like until everything blows over, you'll be staying here, Miss-"

"Ella!" the princess exclaimed cheerily, "My name is Ella White! And what is all of yours?"

"I'm Cameron," the short dwarf replied, "It's quite prodigious to meet you."

"Hmph," Duncan turned his head away from the girl, "The name's Duncan."

Noah gave a yawn, pitching in, "I'm Noah."

"I'm Geoff!" the party animal dwarf exclaimed, "Righteous to meet you, dudette!"

Beardo looked a little nervous as he rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm Beardo. I... Don't speak much. I make great noises, though."

"I'm still quite annoyed as to why you dusted in here," Harold stubbornly continued, before letting out a violent sneeze.

"How's it goin'?" Owen finished the introductions, "I'm Owen! Say... You never answered my question about the food, y'know?" He nervously tapped his index fingers together.

"Oh my, these names will be ever so hard to remember!" Ella exclaimed with a gasp, "Hm... What to do... I know! I shall call you all, in order: Doc, Grumpy, Sleepy, Happy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey!"

The seven dwarfs all stared at Ella in a mix of bewilderment as to why she gave them stereotypical names and annoyance that she thought that was a good idea to begin with. Finally, Duncan broke their silence with an irritated, "Seriously?"

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><p>"Uh, why did you call me back here?" Leonard, still missing his fake beard, nervously asked the queen as he stood in her throne room, "I'm not really your mirror anymore."<p>

Sugar gave an annoyed huff before explaining, "I need you to use your magic-y mumbo jumbo to see if Ella is still alive. I don't trust people who believe in no zombies, whatsoever."

Leonard gave a sigh, before pulling a spellbook out of his pocket, thumbing through the pages and exclaiming, "Oh, magical spellbook! Lock onto the magical energies of the princess Ella White! Tell me if she is alive, and if so, where she is!"

A fantastic flash of green light flooded the room. Sugar watched it in awe, but this quickly subsided when a thin sheet of paper came floating down from the sky and landing on Leonard's face. He scanned over it before announcing:

"Uh, she's still alive... errr... Your majesty."

"What?!" Sugar exclaimed, standing up from her throne in anger before pulling out what seemed to be a heart from her pocket, "Then what do y'all call _this _then!"

The wizard stifled a gag, before leaning forward and noting, "...I think that's a pig's heart, your majesty."

"...Then I'll keep it then," the queen decided, and quickly added when Leonard gave her a horrified look, "...It's a delicacy in some cultures! Geez! Y'don't got any culture, do you? Oh, forget it!"

Stuffing the heart back in her pocket, Sugar stormed out of the throne room. She heard Leonard call out, "Wait! Have you seen my beard anywhere?!", but ignored him, continuing her stomp down a flight of stairs and down into her castle's dungeon. The heart still in her hands, she stepped on a skull, crushing it, and walked over to a cabinet. Opening it with her free hand, she fumbled through the shelves before exclaiming, "Aha!"

She pulled out a poisonous apple and begun to gloat, "With this, I will deal with that pesky singin' wannabe myself! Y'all done messed with the wrong queen of this world's pageant! All I need is a good disguise and Ella's gonna be dead as a chicken walkin' inside KFC!"

She then looked at the pig's heart in her other hand and added, "Right after I fry up me some hearty lunch!"

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><p>The next morning, Ella had coerced the seven dwarfs to all line up in a line before they went back to work at the mines.<p>

"Why are we doing this again?" Noah deadpanned, with his arms crossed.

"Dunno, she said she was going to give us a reward for our generosity or something!" Owen exclaimed, "Man, I sure hope it's pancakes!"

Beardo, however, made the noise of a cash register to signal what he wanted out of the whole ordeal.

"Oh, it's something much better than that!" Ella exclaimed, which piqued the interest of every dwarf, "A kiss for all of you!"

"Wait what?" Cameron asked in bewilderment before being kissed on the forehead. Ella then moved onto Noah and kissed him on the forehead, causing the lazy dwarf to grimace and recoil from the kiss.

Geoff was next, who took his forehead kiss with his usual chill smile. Owen wasn't much different, but he did ask, "_Now _can it be pancakes?"

The princess moved onto Beardo, who flashed bright red after being kissed on the forehead. He began to fall backwards with an audible awkward chuckle as he did so.

She finally came to Duncan who exclaimed, "Oh, nuh-uh! I was all against this from the beginning-" He was silenced by Ella kissing him on the nose instead. He stopped for a moment, before deciding it was fine, actually. If he wasn't in a relationship with a haughty princess of a faraway kingdom who would kill him if he cheated on her again, he'd definitely put Ella on the list of girls he'd kiss _much _more often.

"Alright, then, let's head out," Cameron nodded, turning to his fellow dwarfs, "Hopefully, we can mine a bunch of gems again today!"

As the dwarfs began to march out the door, Beardo began his whistling once again, to the loud outcry of Duncan, "Will you can it with the whistling already?!"

"Fare thee well, strange gnomes!" Ella called out, peeking out the window. With that, she turned to continue her cleaning, only to be interrupted by a knock on the door, causing her to ask, "Goodness, I wonder who that could be!"

Prancing over to the door with an airy hum, Ella opened it to reveal none other than Sugar standing in the doorway, wearing a fake beard, "Oh, step-mother! Have you come to reconcile with me over trying to kill me?"

"Uh, I ain't Queen Sugar or nothin'," Sugar nervously put on a masculine voice, "My name is... errr, uh... Salt! Yeah, and I'm just a lowly apple salesman, yes-siree! Nothing suspicious about me nor my fake beard at all!"

Ella giggled, not believing that, "Oh, step-mother. You always were a kidder. Oh! Is that apple a reconciliation present for me?"

"...Yes," Sugar didn't even try to disguise her voice this time, looking from the apple to Ella.

"Oh, most joyous of days!" Ella clasped her hands together before unclasping them and grabbing the apple, "I do quite enjoy apples! I enjoy green apples and gala apples and miniature apples, but any apple is just dandy with me! Although, I do prefer them peeled. Did you know there's a song about a man called Johnny Applesee-"

"JUST EAT THE DAMNED FRUIT," Sugar finally exclaimed in anger, before clearing her voice, "I mean, uh... Before you accidentally bruise it or somethin'!"

Ella stared at her step-mother before shrugging and taking a bite out of the apple. She chewed once. Sugar grinned. She chewed twice. She chewed twice. Sugar grinned wider. She swallowed.

...

"...Do you feel any diff'rent?" Sugar asked, impatiently.

"...I don't _think _so," Ella shook her head, "Am I supposed to?"

Sugar gave a groan, before exclaiming, "Forget it! A queen shouldn't hafta do everything herself!"

Stomping into the kitchen of the dwarfs's home, she dug around in the cabinet for a while before pulling out a frying pan and stomping back over to Ella.

"Oh, are we going to have fried apple-" _Bang! __Thud._

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><p>"Yo, Cinder-<em>Ella!<em>" Duncan called as they opened the door, "We're back!"

"Please never make that pun again," Noah deadpanned, wincing from the bad pun.

The dwarfs were greeted to a morbid sight, however. Ella was laying on the floor, an apple that Harold recognized as rumored to be poisonous (no one ever tried to see in the history books) near her hand. The dwarfs all gasped collectively, before turning and seeing Sugar sitting at their dinner table, munching on some non-descript fried, vein-y item that she had fried using their frying pan. The refrigerator door was open as well, and seemed to be mostly empty.

"Oh my God," Geoff exclaimed, "She killed Ella!"

"And the bastard left the refrigerator door open!" Owen's focus wasn't on Ella, but instead the empty fridge.

"Yes!" Sugar exclaimed with a haughty laugh, "I finally killed the princess, Ella White! I'm now the greatest singer in this pageant, and what are you boys gonna do about it?"

The dwarfs all looked at each other before Beardo once again let out the noise of a trumpet call. The dwarfs all drew their shovels and ran towards Sugar.

"...Dang nabbit!" was all she said before running out of the chair and running Cameron down, running out the door. The dwarfs all skidded to a halt, Geoff helping Cameron back up, as Beardo sounded the trumpet once more, signaling chase after the evil queen.

They chased her through the woods. ...And through the woods. ...And through the woods.

This fairytale really needs more setting than just woods.

...Until they finally cornered her at a cliff.

"Stay back!" she exclaimed, picking up a nearby boulder, "Or I'll smash you all into mashed taters with this here boulder!"

"Actually, that's an igneous maximus-" Harold was cut off by the sound of thunder. Storm clouds suddenly formed in the, previously clear sky, above them. A sharp blast of lightning suddenly struck Sugar, causing her to lose her balance and fall backwards off the cliff...

...only to be crushed by the boulder she had just picked up. Just as soon as they arrived, the storm clouds dispersed, changing the weather back to its normal, sunny pattern.

"Woah, man!" Geoff exclaimed, grasping his hat in shock (and a little bit of sadistic amusement), "Talk about a lucky coincident, right fellas?!"

Owen frowned, "That doesn't bring back all the grub she ate, though..." Suddenly, the storm clouds formed once again before striking Owen. Thankfully, he survived said lightning strike.

* * *

><p>The seven dwarfs, and an army of woodland creatures, were inside the dwarf house, surrounding the presumably dead Ella's corpse. Geoff held his hat as Cameron finished speaking a eulogy for her, while Beardo trumpeted a sombering rendition of Taps.<p>

It was then that they had a new visitor to the funeral, Prince Dave.

"What happened?!" Dave asked, "Did the alligator finally get her?!"

"The better question is, where is everyone finding our house?" Noah asked with a roll of the eyes, "Addresses hadn't been invented yet, people."

Ignoring the sarcastic dwarf, Dave bent down to his new friend's corpse. It was then that Cameron realized something.

"Hey, true love's kiss!"

"...Well, Courtney's gonna kill me, but if I gotta-"

"No, I mean, this guy's a prince, right?" Cameron asked, "At least he looks like one. Science proves that true love's kiss isn't scientifically possible and is just a form of wish fulfillment for people who want a prince or a princess, but it could cause a placebo effect that could bring Ella back to life!"

Everyone stared at Cameron for a moment, before Owen admitted, still a little smoky from the lightning strike, "I might be the dopey one, but even I think that's kinda dumb, dude."

"It's... worth a shot, I guess?" Dave asked, not too sure about this. He had hoped that maybe he could have used this effect to maybe change Sky's mind about him, but that probably would be unethical. Plus, he didn't have the chance to run out since all of the dwarfs were watching him.

He knelt down to Ella before placing a kiss on her lips, awkwardly. Everyone stared at Ella's corpse, before noticing that nothing was happening. The solemn atmosphere returned, with Owen bursting out into tears, screaming, "Why do the good all die young?!"

"Wait!" Dave exclaimed, "I have another idea!"

"Gosh!" Harold shouted, "It better be a good idea, for her sake!"

Dave nervously rubbed his neck, before belting off, majorly off-key, which scared all of the animals out of the house, "**OOOOOOONE SOOOOONG, I HAVE BUT OOOOONE SOOOO-"**

"Ugh, I know that chalkboard voice from anyone," Ella groaned, as she suddenly sat up and smiled at Dave, "Hello, Prince Dave! Welcome home, dwarves! My step-mother decided that she wanted to make up and-"

"Ella's alive!" Geoff exclaimed, "Man, we're all up in the coincidences today, huh? First the lightning, now this!"

Owen groaned, still sizzling from being struck earlier, "Please don't say lightning." From a far off place, the group could have sworn they heard someone scream, "Sha-Lightning!"

"...Right, so I'm glad I helped, but I have somewhere to be-"

"Wait!" Cameron interrupted Prince Dave, "You have to deal with the consequences of True Love's Kiss!"

"Wait, what?" Dave stopped, "Consequences?"

"Yes," Ella nodded before explaining, "Even if it is used as a placebo, it is law in the kingdom that you must immediately marry anyone you give True Love's Kiss to, as we ride off into the sunset on your horse together! And if you try to escape it, you may be punishable by death! Or so I hear."

"But you were knocked out!" Dave widened his eyes, "...Right? Come on, dwarfs, help me out here!"

"The law is law," Harold mentioned, "I remember when I gave True Love's Kiss to LeSha-"

"No one wants to hear about your love life, Doris," Duncan sneered.

"They might" Harold argued back, "Gosh!"

Dave thought for a minute. This wasn't good. He had just hired an assassin to take care of Keith. He finally mentioned, "R-Right! I can't do that because my horse isn't here-"

_Whinny!_

Everyone stared at Dave before he slumped his shoulders and muttered, "Damn it."

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><p>"Goodbye, dwarfs!" Ella exclaimed as she rode off into the sunset with the reluctant Dave, "I hope our paths cross again!"<p>

For everyone who lived, they had a happy ever after ending. Ella got married, the dwarfs eventually cashed in their mined gems to get filthy rich, Shawn didn't get punished for his treason against the queen, and Leonard found his fake beard.

Well, all except Dave. But since he hired someone to kill Keith, he probably deserved to be eternally married to someone he didn't love.

**The end.**

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><p><strong>And there was the first one-shot! Liked it? Hated it? Let me know!<strong>

**There's also a poll on my profile regarding this story, so check it out if you wish!**

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><p><strong>Next Time: Pinocchio<strong>


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